It has come to my attention that the greater public is not really aware of how to behave on public transport.
In my own personal interest, as bus is my primary mode of transport in the fair city of Sydney, I have decided that as a public service announcement that I should give you all some pointers.
Firstly, here are some choice tips from a more reputable source,
www.sydneybuses.info, which I have added my own personal touches to.
Bus EtiquetteWhen travelling on Sydney Buses, please be respectful of other passengers by being aware of the following:
Offer your seat to those who need it more than you. If you see someone who is elderly, pregnant, mobility impaired or disabled
(or amazingly hurting from a big night on the bolly), you must offer them your seat.
Allow passengers to alight before boarding the bus.
(I see examples of this not being followed on a daily basis. I can see what is racing through their minds. "OMG QUICK I NEED TO GET ON THE BUS OMG QUICK. GET OUTTA MY WAY. IT'S GOING TO LEAVE WITHOUT ME EVEN THOUGH THERE'S A WHOLE F-ING GROUP OF PEOPLE TRYING TO GET OFF! QUIIIIICCCCCCCCK!!!!!!!!!!#$@#$!@#$@!%)Do not distract the driver or interfere with the operation of the bus in any way.
(Unless you are an aerodynamic engineer of sorts and developing a hybrid vehicle of sorts which both flies and floats. Then by all means, go for it.)Do not place
(old) bags on seats.
(Okay that's just silly but really, there are some really annoying old people who board the bus near me who think it's find to take up entire seats with their granny trolley things and bitch about how nose piercings are the work of satan BECAUSE they're old. Not only this but with my own eyes, I have seen the elderly move faster than a speeding bullet to get on the bus first.)Do not block doorways with yourself or any belongings and allow fellow passengers room to move if they are getting off the bus.
(aka, we all know you're massively rich and have a high-flyer corporate job, but for gods sake, unless you are super thin or are happy to read your newspaper with your arms stretched out in front of you in a very tight 'V' shape, save it for your triple shot soy latte break at work)Cover your mouth when you cough or sneeze.
(Or talking shit to a poor unsuspecting passenger about your skin disease that 'really looks a lot like cold sores')If you need to speak on your mobile phone, keep your tone to a minimum level, so as not to disturb others around you.
(Also, note well that no one cares about what that bitchy hobag did last night, oh my god, we can't believe it either)
If listening to music, use headphones and be aware of the volume.
(Please also be aware that this is indicative of the fact that someone does not want to be talked to. My housemates and I oft catch the same bus together and even though we generally like each other (refer to two posts ago), we even don't talk to each other in the mornings on the bus. Headphone time = My time, or as my Housemate Bubecca likes to refer to it, "sacred time". For busy Gen Y-ers, it's all we have.)
and my final add ons.
For the love of crap,
please wear deoderant.
If you are waiting in a queue for a bus, use this opportunity to get your bus/loose change out before you board and can't-find-your-wallet-while-there's-a-30-person-queue-waiting-to-get-on-and-you-laugh-flippantly-and-shake-your-head-while-ferreting-around-in-your-bag-for-5-full-minutes.
If you see someone you recognise on the bus that you haven't seen for a full week, and the bus is crowded, please don't shove your way through the packed bus like a gumby and speak over the top of some poor soul who is sitting next to said acquaintance.
And finally:
Please, if you're flagging down a bus, for your own dignities sake, only do it for a second. If you do it for too long you're at risk of:
a) looking like you're 'heil'in' hitler, or
b) looking like one of those dickheads who goes down to the Martin Place sunrise studios who waves behind Kochie, too busy looking at the screen of themselves than at the camera and appears be having some sort of epileptic episode.
That is all.
Faithfully Yours
xx
Rarrie-Anne-Dally-Watkins
